Memo

To:  The People Who Live on the Street Behind Me
Re: Various Items I'd Like to Clear Up

It has come to my attention that you may need a few things cleared up after last night's festivities.  Setting off M-80's at 20 minute intervals from 9:00-10:30 is not super neighborly to those with dogs who become terrified at loud noises and a child who is trying to go to sleep.  Especially when the last aforementioned M-80 was so loud, it knocked a picture of the wall of my child's room onto his bed and scared the living daylights out of him.  I do thank you for knocking off the M-80 routine a little before 10:30...that was much appreciated.  However, at 12:00-something when awakened from a dead sleep by my dog barking due to your Saturn Missiles and various other fireworks, I realized that you needed someone to clear up a few things for you.  So, I am here to help.

a) The 4th of July is over a week away.  Last I checked, it was still June.  Please be advised to get a calendar.

b) Technically, fireworks aren't exactly legal in our city.  You know, if you want to bend that on the 4th, I don't have a problem with it (refer to point a).

c) It is not exactly considerate "neighborly" behavior for people to set off M-80's every 20 minutes until long past children's bedtimes.  In addition, it is also not considerate "neighborly" behavior to set off other types of fireworks until nearly 1:00 in the morning, even on the 4th (again - refer to point a).  I'm sure those who lived closer to you than I extra-appreciated your consideration.

I do thank you that when my husband left our bed & home at 1:00 am and drove by your house slowly and then parked nearby and pretended to be calling the authorities that you did stop at that time.  Apparently, you may have recognized some of my points from above already and decided to go ahead and give your poor behavior a rest for the night.  I look forward to the next 2 weeks, because I'm sure you will regard my memo with about as much consideration as you gave me and the rest of our neighborhood last night.

Sincerely,
Someone who got a lousy night's sleep